When Twins Grow Up & Have Babies

I am a mother of twins.  I love being a mother of twins.  Having twins is a lot harder than having singletons.  Singletons – that’s what you have when you have only one baby at a time.

When I found out that I was having twins, I was already a mother to two other children.  Two singletons.

I remember lying on the ultrasound table and hearing the news and immediately bursting into tears.  They weren’t tears of joy.  They were tears of terror.  Not that I don’t love my twins, but I had already had two babies, and I knew how much work one baby was and how many sleepless nights you went through, and I was afraid that I would never sleep again.  Or eat.  Or have a life.

The rules of raising children all change when you have more than one baby at a time.  You know the one about never waking a sleeping child?  Well, when you have two, you strive to get them on the same schedule – especially the same sleeping schedule.  So if one wakes up to eat, then you wake the other one up to eat at the same time.

The goal, at least in the first few years, is to get them to sleep at the same time.  That way, you can get some sleep, too.  Or get laundry done.  Or wash dishes.  Or clean house.  Or take care of your other kids.

Forget about reading the current best seller, getting your nails done, or getting back your pre-pregnancy body.  That kind of stuff is ancient history.

My middle child was parked in front of TV for about 9 straight months.  Nine straight months of the purple dinosaur song.  Drove me crazy.  Saved my life.

We remember the first night that both of our girls slept at night at the same time.  We got 40 consecutive minutes of sleep!  We woke so refreshed!

My son-in-law is a twin.  He has a twin sister.  His twin sister recently had her first child, a boy.  A singleton.

Ryan with Anderson, the sweetest little baby with so much hair!

Ryan got to take care of his nephew this past weekend.  This is his second nephew, and he loves them both, but I was curious.  Does the fact that one of them is the child of his twin sister feel any differently to him?

I think mothers of twins would really be curious about this question.  Maybe no one else would even think about it.  But I did so I called him to ask him about it.  My daughter wanted to know the answer, too.

You see, even if twins are not identical, there is usually a special connection between them.  My twins are not identical.  They have different interests and a lot of different friends.  But, they are still close.  If you ask them about their sister, they will always respond relative to their twin sister.  We have 5 girls, so our twins have 3 other sisters besides their twin.  But they always respond about their twin if asked generically about their sister.  I think that’s interesting.

Ryan hadn’t considered the question either.  He was very careful to emphasize that he loves both of his nephews.  But, he did admit, upon reflection, that it is different with his twin sister’s child.  He couldn’t describe it – and he is not often at a loss for words being a mean old 7th grade comm arts teacher and all – but he admitted that there is something special and unique about holding your twin’s baby.

My daughter holding Anderson.

I remember being this age and having babies and holding my sisters’ and my friend’s babies.  We shared advice and stories and struggles.  While going through it, it seemed like an eternity.  I remember thinking, quite clearly, I will never get them all off the breast, out of diapers, and into school.

I am not really a baby person.  I’ve always enjoyed kids the older they got.  I especially enjoy teenagers.  Call me a freak.

But, I am actually starting to look forward to holding a baby, a grandbaby, someday.  My friends who are already grandparents say there is nothing like it in the world.

I’m thinking it will be special.  Kind of like holding your twin’s baby.  A unique, but hard to describe experience.

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